Sixteen years ago, we got Beethoven — not Ludwig, but rather the big ol’ St. Bernard. Just in case four sequels and a stint on television wasn’t enough for you, The Hollywood Reporter posts that Universal is releasing yet another direct-to-DVD sequel on December 30 — Beethoven’s Big Break. I guess they gave up punning on Ludwig with their titles. But just because it’s not going to the big screen doesn’t mean you can’t see the pup in huge glory — it seems that a giant Beethoven balloon will be part of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade this year. I bet it’ll be cuter than the movie.

In other DVD news: Have you ever scoured the DVD shelves, discovered some strange, old film with current stars, and comment on how someone unearthed the crappy flick to make money on the actor’s newfound fame? Well, this next bit is something like that. THR also reports that ex 90210 gals Tori Spelling and Shannen Doherty are hitting DVD shelves with Kiss the Bride and Kiss Me Deadly (respectively, and I don’t think connected) to tap into some of that spotlight currently shining once again on Beverly Hills High. Ever watch either flick? Thumbs up … down?

Finally, James Gunn’s PG Porn has debuted. You can check it out after the jump. Remember — just because Aria Giovanni is in it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be explicit. So, check out Nathan Fillion acting like a porn star who doesn’t get the goods — it’s not quite Funny or Die funny, but I’ll definitely keep watching.

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I’ve been burned by Jonah Hex rumors before, so this time I’m going to tread carefully … very carefully. Hollywood Elsewhere reports they have reliable information that Josh Brolin (W.) has signed to star in WB’s feature film version of DC Comics’ Jonah Hex. According to Wells’ “friend”, it’s a done deal — but a top secret one. So in spite of protestations to the contrary from both Warner Bros. and Brolin’s reps, Elsewhere believes they have the real dirt on the comic book adaptation

Hex was created by John Albano and Tony DeZuniga, and it centers on a disfigured bounty hunter who wanders the plains in a tattered confederate uniform. Hex had a rotating cast of villains, and the series was known for its rough-and-tumble plot lines and copious amounts of gore. Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor (Crank) have already been hired to write and direct the flick, and not much is known about the story other than the fact that Jonah’s “quest in the film is tracking down a voodoo practitioner.” According to Elsewhere, there will be plenty of CGI and sci-fi overtones, and even though the earlier incarnations of Hex were strictly in the setting of the Wild West, as the series carried on Hex came up against plenty of supernatural bad guys – making the fantasy element of the flick not as far out as you may think.

I guess we’ll have to wait and see if Brolin is really donning the six-shooters for Hex, or whether we’ll just have to settle for the actor playing a different ‘cowboy with a bad reputation’. So what do you think? Is Brolin a good match for Hex on the big screen? Sound off below….

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Somehow I missed this on Thursday, but apparently so did everyone else, since I didn’t see it linked anywhere. Roger Ebert was hanging out at a post-production studio in Chicago, watching the restored new print of The Godfather, when he was unexpectedly joined by Larry and Andy Wachowski, the famously inaccessible duo behind The Matrix, Speed Racer, and (people forget) Bound. Afterward, he got a chance to chat with them — not in a conventional interview setting, complete with a hovering publicist (the brothers don’t do that, remember?), but over a beer.

Ebert was impressed with the “zillionaires”: “Nice people. Friendly. No Hollywood attitude.” He writes that “[t]he blogosphere paints them as mysterious recluses, which may add to the legend but doesn’t match the reality.” But their being nice and friendly doesn’t make them any less mysterious and reclusive: I’d wager that Ebert only ran the piece because of their reputation for not giving interviews or talking to anyone in the press.

Anyway, it’s really interesting to “hear” them speak, though they mostly talk about the difficulties of keeping a moving 35 mm shot in focus and the brilliance of Coppola’s Godfather shot selection. It’s funny how keeping silent for a while will make such brief, mundane snippets into objects of arcane fascination. (Though since I think the Wachowskis are pretty formidable visual artists themselves, I find their perspective on that sort of thing interesting in its own right.)

No photo, of course; all you get is that old shot of the two admiring a Matrix comic book.

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Flash of Genius is a conventional crowdpleaser but not, I’m pleased to report, a shameless one. Chronicling the true story of a college professor’s fight to reclaim his invention – the intermittent windshield wiper – from the car company that stole it, the film does many of the things you’d expect, but it may also surprise you. Don’t let its Telluride placement fool you: this is a staunchly mainstream, unchallenging film, the sort of underdog-vs.-corporate-behemoth story you’ve seen time and again. But it’s a decent rendition, hitting the right notes without insulting our intelligence.

Now, the intermittent windshield wiper is not exactly the light bulb. If you’re not familiar with the term, the wiper is “intermittent” in the sense that it can pause between wipes – a problem that apparently puzzled engineers at all the major car companies until Kearns cracked it the late 60s. But part of what’s nifty about the film is its ability to create suspense and curiosity around something so seemingly mundane. Kearns’ first demo of his device to Ford is exciting in a very goofy way, but exciting nonetheless.

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